Everything, everything

Always be my maybe .  The day I was dreading is finally here. So many emotions at the same time.. I want to cancel our date, tell him that I won't make it because of an emergency at work. But this wont help at all. Running away from my problems won't fix it at all.  We finally meet up and wow, everything is so awkward. Feels like a complete stranger is sitting in front of me. "so..." We both utter, and he then tells me to go first, I took a deep breath and ask how he has been doing. Our conversations were filled with so much awkward silence more than actual words. I'm sitting here, looking at him and I can feel that our love isn't as flattering and strong as it was. He than asks me whether we could go to a more private place, I suggested that we go to my place. I offered him a drink. He started explaining the whys and the how's. I was disgusted by every word that came out of his mouth. I wanted to shout and scream at him. But that won't help, I thought